No. 105: The Smirk That Defined a Generation: Yes, I’m Talking About Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen
Say prune! (IYKYK)
If and when anyone ever asks me the very important Las Culturistas question, “What was the culture that made you say culture?” I swiftly answer Mary-Kate and Ashley Olsen, Miss Piggy, and Janet Jackson. But today, we’re just focusing on the Olsen twins. Between their style, which I’ve tried to emulate throughout all their various eras, and superb IMDb—come on: The Adventures of Mary-Kate & Ashley Olsen, Passport to Paris, and So Little Time—the impact these two have had on me and most millennials blows my mind.
There’s one iconic image from 2004, when the Olsens received their Hollywood star, that I’ll never forget. It was the moment I first noticed they had stopped smiling with their teeth and instead perfected the art of the pursed lip. Rumor has it their signature pout was crafted simply by saying “prune” to jut out their lips. Of course, I tried to mimic that lip purse and managed to forget about my smile that took 4 dreadful years of braces to perfect. Unfortunately, my closed-lip smirk made me look like an asshole. It came off more angry than alluring. I either looked mad or just plain bitchy. And this was well before “resting bitch face” had even entered the cultural lexicon.
Over the last couple of years, I’ve been able to smirk with my mouth closed, but practice has been necessary. Try 15-plus damn years of trying to nail it. After too many failed attempts, I learned that whoever is taking my photo needs to provide direction or I look more like Rose McGowan as Courtney Shayne from Jawbreakers (who knows what I’m talking about?) than an Olsen.
But not all people smile with pursed lips because they want to look like MK&A. “A lot of celebrities I’ve worked on, even after I’ve fixed their teeth, still don’t smile,” cosmetic dentist Dr. Lowenberg told me. “Psychologically, they’re so used to being uncomfortable about their smile that they don’t break the habit. For others, it might be that they don’t like how their nose pulls down when they smile or they think their cheeks look too full. Everyone has their insecurities, their mental magnifying mirror. Some just think they look better not smiling.”
Lowenberg’s answer brought back an old insecurity of mine from high school. I’d worn glasses from the time I was six, but it wasn’t until I was fourteen that I needed to wear them full-time. There’s nothing wrong with glasses, but when I got contacts at fifteen, I was surprised to find that I hated how I looked. Without the frames, I suddenly noticed everything I didn’t like: my nose seemed bigger, the space between my eyes felt off, and my bone structure looked unfamiliar.
By the time I turned eighteen, I committed to contacts because I didn’t want to wear glasses in college, but it took years to feel at ease with my face. Now, I can’t imagine not wearing contacts, but back then, it was a long, uncomfortable adjustment before I liked what I saw in the mirror.
But when it comes to fuller lips, the Olsen twins come up more than you’d expect for plastic surgeon Dr. Lara Devgan. “Their signature smirk—a kind of mysterious, pursed expression—has become shorthand for an understated, confident look,” she said. “Patients often say they want to 'look expensive' or 'less eager,' and for some, that means minimizing the toothy smile and drawing focus to the eyes or bone structure.”
Duly noted. If I want lip filler, I’m asking for ‘less eager.’
The Best Oral Care Whether You Smile With Or Without Your Teeth
Cocofloss: This floss gets EVERYTHING out. The texture of the thread isn’t like your average Glide that’s soft to the touch. This has a woven texture and is slightly thicker than the usual floss. Just trust me: it’s the type of product that’s so grossly satisfying you’ll be excited to floss your teeth.
Olas Marine Bio-Active Mouthrinse: Not only is this the chicest packaged mouthwash, it makes your teeth feel and look extra clean. Plus, it tastes good, and as a kid who used to eat toothpaste, I have an excellent palate for dental products.
Zima Dental Pod: This was a product I never knew I needed. Then it was sent to me and it’s hard to imagine my life without it. I’m dedicated to wearing my retainer nightly. Seriously, I think the only time I’ve missed wearing it in the last 5 years (I did a version of Invisalign a few years back) was when I gave birth to my son. Needless to say, that thing is gross, and this makes it shine.
Twice Oral Wellness Toothpaste: Hi, I’m Jayme and I like fluoride. You do you if you’re not a fan, but I’m here for preventing cavities and strengthening enamel. Take it or leave it, fluoride is beneficial and Twice makes an excellent fluoride toothpaste flavor and whitening-wise.
And if you’re an MK&A obessee, may I suggest the following Substacks that understand their icon status: