Mirror Work: I Get Jealous Most Days

And I hate it

Mirror Work is reflections or prompts on what the mirror taught me this week — confidence, shame, surprise, or just neutrality. The mirror scares the shit out of me. So think of it as character building and seeing myself without the performance.

Acknowledging that I get jealous isn’t very becoming. But fuck becoming because I’m trying so hard to get out of my own way.

Me, trying to no longer fear the mirror

It took me a while to admit to myself that jealousy is often something I feel. I’m constantly wondering, “Why did they get that opportunity? What they’re doing isn’t that unique.” Or “How did they get to be successful?” “Why is their brand doing so well? The marketing is such bullshit.” Or even, “Why do they have so many more subscribers?” In my head, I start building a case, finding things to nitpick, looking for flaws just to make myself feel better. But it never works. I never do.

I’m genuinely happy for my friends, family, and colleagues when they achieve what they’ve worked for. But even in that joy, I often catch myself wondering, what’s wrong with me? What am I not doing enough of? What’s holding me back from reaching the kind of success I want? I’ve always seen myself as ambitious, but sometimes I second-guess whether that ambition is enough.

The other day, I wrote a note on Substack saying I wish I were more delusional. I’m incredibly self-aware, sometimes to a fault. That awareness can distort how I see myself, making it harder to believe I’m actually capable of more.

They say comparison is the thief of joy and I’ve never found that to be more true. It’s hard to write about something when you’re aware of the problem but don’t have a clear solution. That’s where I am right now: fully aware, and actively working on it. Working to accept myself, to stop measuring my worth against other people—other founders, other creatives, others I admire or aspire to be.

Being jealous makes me feel like an asshole. But maybe the bigger asshole move is pretending I’m above it. I’m not. I compare. I spiral. I judge. And then I write about it, hoping the honesty counts for something. I wish I had a cleaner ending for this. Something hopeful or profound. But the truth is, I’m still in it, still working to untangle ambition from insecurity, admiration from envy. I don’t know what that makes me. Probably just human.

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Collected Distractions

A brain dump of what’s holding my attention (and worth yours).

Mom’s World Vol. 4

My friend

Courtney Falsey

, who I first met right here on Substack, is the author of Don’t Forget to Call Mom! I adore her newsletter, and last week’s edition was this perfect blend of vulnerability, fashion, indie film, and impeccably curated vintage kids’ clothing. It strikes that rare balance of being relatable, fun, and deeply honest and I feel lucky that I now get to call Courtney a friend.

Am I Pretty?

Immediately intrigued by the title, this story was fascinating and unfortunate. It covered how a slew of new AI apps assess your facial features. Exhibit A: “You are 75% pretty. You have a good face shape. Your forehead size is normal. You have poor face symmetry. Your mouth is too small for your face. Your chin is too large.” This is real and it gets worse. Eleven to 13 is the average age of the user.

The Girlfriend

The synopsis is wildly familiar: mother hates son’s new girlfriend, chaos ensues. But the show is so much more. The two main characters played by the insanely stunning Robin Wright and Olivia Cooke are what you can call frighteningly ambitious and possessive. The acting is incredible and it’s a little campy with an array of twists and turns. It was honestly my perfect show.

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